Well okay I didn’t actually have a conversation with Al Carraway, but reading her book feels like she is talking directly to me about about God. Do you ever feel that way when you are reading a book? Yesterday, I was going through a box of my stuff in my closet and came across her book titled “More than the Tatooed Mormon,” that my husband gave me for Christmas last year, and the thought came to me to read it.
When a thought used to come into my head, I would have been too lazy, or talk myself out of following through with it. This time was different, I actually did what my head was telling me and boy am I so grateful. If you don’t know who Al Carraway is, you better get familiar with her because she is AMAZING! She has a way of making the gospel seem so simple to me and I just love how down to earth she is!
A few months ago I wrote this post: I am not the Mormon I thought I was…. where I talked about how I was going to write on this blog about things that I learned about the gospel. Well let’s just say that life, or Satan, got in my head and in my way and I haven’t written anything. I don’t know if it is because of fear of how I write and it not being good enough, or if I was self sabotaging myself, but I haven’t written in awhile.
Then I read the quote below in her book and I felt as though Al was grasping onto my shoulders and shaking me to pay attention.
My answer came as a reoccurring thought, one I figured if I ignored long enough would go away. It didn’t. Weeks and weeks has passed, and it kept coming back. But what it came down to was this. I just found out that God is real. Not only that, but he in reality speaks to us. He does. Who would I be if I said, “Hey God, you’re wrong.” I can’t do that, because He’s God! What would I be if I said that to God? And how guilty I would have felt if I finally got an answer and din’t do anything about it.
Um… wow pierce me in the heart Al! This was the kick in the butt that I needed for my life. For weeks I have been getting down on myself for not doing things that I had felt I needed to do. Now I will forever remember this and how guilty I felt when I read this.
But you want to know the most glorious piece of this?! Even though I felt guilty, and felt as though I had let Heavenly Father down. I haven’t! God loves us no matter what we do! He is always there for us to turn back to if we have lost our way. He is always there with open arms to welcome us back into his presence. He knows our potential and knows that we will find our way back to him. Sometimes it just takes reading a book, especially the Book of Mormon, for him to get through our heads.
So here on out I vow to not disappoint God. That whenever I get these thoughts and promptings from him I will act on them. Or I will try my very hardest to act on them. Satan still has a grasp on my head that I am trying to get him to let go of it.